Monday, February 21, 2011

Oh, I did some Freelance Dramaturgs a while back

That's right, my sporadically created, hastily drawn Roman-a-clef about a noseless simulacrum of myself is back. In drawings I actually did several months ago.

Aren't you lucky?

And yes, the FD rules are that I cannot redraw anything or fix my mistakes. Though I think I cheated a few times.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Ah, JEEZ! RIP Ron Santo

RIPI'm sure someone else here [Exile on Clark Street] will go a little more in depth on this later (okay, I'm not so sure), but (shoulda-been-a)Hall of Fame Cubs third baseman and broadcaster Ron Santo has passed away:

I'm not going to lie - the last few years of Santo's broadcasting career made me hope he'd retire, but I'm pretty sad he's gone. Listening to him call a game was like watching it with one of your uncles - sure he'd lose track of who was up or what happened, but he definitely loved the Cubs and the sport of baseball - apparently in that order. And that has to count for something.

EDIT: You know, this upsets me more than I think I realized. Ron Santo is dead and Hawk Harrelson still walks the earth? No justice.


Cross-posted at Exile on Clark Street.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


(Crossposted from Exile on Clark Street)


Former Cubs infielder Ryan Theriot has been traded from the Los Angeles Dodgers to the St. Louis Cardinals, the Cubs' most hated rivals. As if that wasn't enough, Theriot, who was a fan favorite when he was here in Chicago, commented that he was "finally on the right side of the Cubs-Cardinals rivalry." (

Go guzzle a hose that sprays syphilis-infected dicks, you banjo-hitting, overrated sack of shit. Don't think being on the Cardinals will get you out of some time in the FIREBARN. I never thought you were that good, and now I don't even have to pretend to give a shit whether you live or die. I hope St. Louis has a great time watching you throw two-hoppers to Pujols and pissing away scoring opportunities by failing to steal bases, you baseball-illiterate dolt.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

And That's A Wrap For Chicago Baseball

Hey, I wrote something halfassed for Exile on Clark Street! Here's a copy of it:

Yeah, I know. Glass houses.Whoa, there are cobwebs everywhere in here.

So, last night the Twins won, the White Sox lost, and the entire city of Chicago pretty much has let forth a collective "meh." Thankfully, the Bears are starting off solid. And preseason Hockey begins today, so Goreo has something to write about, assuming he's still alive.

I'd like to give some cogent analysis of the whole season, but let's face it: I haven't willingly watched an entire White Sox game since...well since before my last post on here. And, as far as the Cubs are concerned, this season is already being blocked out of my memory. Apparently Charles Darwin made the team and some guy named Kelvin was speared by a bat. Or something. I dunno. Also, the Cubs are apparently being managed by a svelte Michael Chiklis.

It's been a long, strange season. Probably longer and stranger if I had paid attention.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I'm #1!

I was just informed that I am the #1 Google Image search result for "Amputee Horse Porn." And the #5 overall. And apparently the first 4 are clearly spam, though I'm not about to search that on this work computer.

I've never been more proud of myself.


Just use your imagination, folks.

(Not shown: Horse, remaining 3 limbs, penetration)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

When Will the Killing Stop?!?!

Rest in peace, Harold Gould. You battled long and valiantly against the Golden Girls house.

Monday, August 23, 2010

What the hell, Captain America?




Man...I can't even begin to come up with a rollover joke.

That is all.