I'm going to gloss over the fact that I was diagnosed today with SEVERE ADULT ADHD, as that is more or less anticlimactic for anyone that has hung around me for more than a few hours, and talk a little bit about my thought processes.
On the way home from the Walgreen's today (the only one in the area to carry the Schedule II narcotic needed to treat my SEVERE ADULT ADHD) I noticed a dog on the train. Of course, that dog was attached to a blind person. A blind albino.
My thought chain, numbered for your convenience:
1. "Man, she really hit the jackpot, huh?"
2. "You are on a bullet train to Hell, Wolter."
3. "Hey, I don't believe in Hell, so who cares!"
4. "Blind Albino would be an awesome band name."
5. "She does have a pretty awesome pompadour for a blind person. My hair usually looks worse, and I can see."
I am beginning to suspect I am a bad person.
For the record, the Blind AlbinoTM was a little pudgy too, but who am I to judge?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
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2 comments:
If you're going to hell for having … odd … thoughts about blind people, I'll still be ahead of you in line for my mocking of a deaf guy in a coffee shop (well after the fact, mind you—I'm not a complete monster). The thing is, he made me stand in line longer than I expected.
Well he did!
Quit looking at me like that, you hirsute bastard.
What the hell is it with me and guys I date in desperate need of narcotics or ECG treatments? Is there a sign on my forehead begging y'all to come my way? Jeez! I mean, I thought my Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD) mixed with my allergy to bees, cats and MY OWN TEARS and the fact that I only have one ovary and am ALLERGIC TO PORK and am obsessed with fixing stuff would be enough for one person to handle. Seriously! At least MY own medication is if I DO get stung by said bee and start not being able to breathe I need a shot of adrenaline thrust into my thigh. But that's highly unlikely. Ya druggie. Just focus you lazy bastard. ;) Love you! Oh yeah, I heart Blind Albino. Seriously.
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