About Me, or What? No Hitler Picture?

I know I'm breaking both the "No New Content" rule and my amazing streak of Hitlarious¹ Photos, but I think it's about time to really get to know me, The Slogger. I should probably fill all this crap out in the profile section, but that's kinda lame. But a Cult of Personality isn't built in a day, so let me get cracking.

As you may have guessed, I am a reasonably heterosexual² male, I live with my girlfriend, who is a [note to self: come up with clever synonym for "Jewish Person" that is Not At All Antisemitic and Done in Good Fun before you post this], in the city of Chicago (Pennant Loser To the World).

I grew up in Charleston, SC ("Now Slavery Free for 143 Years!"), where I spent the first 28 years of my life, including a nine-year stint at the College of Charleston³, where I majored in Theatre⁴, with a concentration in Dramaturgy⁵ and a minor in Studio Art. Needless to say, I am now working as a receptionist.⁶

I'm tone deaf, which leads me to a passion for music. I've got a soft spot in my heart for any punk or post-punk band formed before 1982, and at least 10 that formed after that. I believe that Bowie is God⁷, and the Clash are The Greatest Thing In History.⁸ I cannot think of a genre that I don't like any representative piece (other than Anything Some Dumb Hippie Likes). For the most part, however, I prefer songs with Loud Guitars and/or Memorable Hooks.

God? You bet.

In my estimation there is One True Sport. That sport is baseball⁹. For reasons Bowie only knows, I have been a lifetime supporter of the Chicago Cubs.¹⁰ I would blog more about my feelings about the Cubs, but numerous other sites do it better, smarter, and funnier.¹¹

I'm not really interested in blogging about politics, but my general sympathy to the anti-authoritarian left will probably shine through from time to time. I'm neither liberal nor conservative, but I'm not really a fan of the middle either. I'd be an activist, but I can barely get up the energy to write a blog about the Goonies, much less overthrow the Capitalist System.

I'm a huge fan of cartoons and cartooning (and may one day toss some art up here). I love a lot of intelligent, arty comics, but for the most part am satisfied if the issue has at least one jetpack riding monkey punching a dinosaur. I'd blog about that love more often, but at last count there are roughly sixteen thousand people doing ironic, silly comics reviews, and at least fifteen thousand of them have better collections and a more thorough knowledge of the minutiae of mainstream comics.¹²

Random assorted arty things I have been paid either money or beer to do:

• Drawing Caricatures at a Bat Mitzvah (Money)
• Stand Up Comedy (Beer)
• Acting in plays (Money and Beer)
• Designing posters for plays (Money or Beer)
• Designing a brochure for a Theatre Program (Money)
• Designing a logo for a set piece in a play (Neither money nor beer, I was young and foolish)
• Writing a play (Money)
• Writing sketch comedy (Beer)
• Drawing a Turkey (Money)
• Drawing a Dragon (Money)
• Designing a tattoo (Beer)
• Illustrations for some handbound books (Beer)

If you have something you'd like me to do for money or beer, feel free to contact The Slog.

There. That's enough about me for now.¹³

---

1. I coined this specifically to be the "w00t" of 2008. Use it with my blessing.
2. My inexplicable non-sexual fascination with the Spice Girls (and for that matter Bea Arthur) notwithstanding...
3. Despite its reputation as a "party school," I have very clear memories of six of those nine years.
4. Spelled this way because we in The Theatre are pretentious.
5. After countless classes and at least two separate instances of working as a Dramaturg, I am still murky on what it means exactly. I think it's kind of like the Consiglieri of a play. At least, I hope it is, otherwise it was way out of order for me to leave that horse's head in the playwright's bed...
6. Straight! I swear!
7. That's the 1968-1982 Bowie. And c'mon, that's not weirder than any given major world religion. Hinduism, I'm looking in your direction.
8. Even greater than the McRib? Yes, fictional interrogator. Even greater.
9. Or, as the English call it, "Football."
10. "World Champions Every Hundred Years, Like Clockwork!"
11. "How is that different than any other topic?" you ask. "It's complicated," I answer. Then I stare knowingly into the distance until you feel a little awkward and leave.
12. A genre I stopped reading for over a decade due to the concerted efforts of one Rob Liefeld to destroy it utterly.
13. I actually think that's EVERYTHING about me. I may have no reason to ever blog again. Other than, of course, boredom fueled egomania.