A Slog Miscellany

Time to fire up the old "Back From Indefinite Hiatus" tag, as I'm ready and raring to go with another exciting installment of The Slog (now with 50% less Adam Ant references¹).

Today, I thought I'd give a miscellany of random Slogger thoughts, as I am kind of burnt out from Attempting to Make More Money Than I Do Now. Basically, I am in my 30s. Actually, literally, I am in my 30s. And I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. If that means growing up and selling out, then so be it, but my Spring Resolution² is to improve my financial situation to the point that I can actually afford to purchase the occasional David Bowie CD³ or Jack Kirby Omnibus⁴ without worrying about Not Having Groceries For Five Days.

So, I'm throwing myself into a job hunt. And I'm looking for one that will actually last. It would be a plus if I actually could find one doing something I belived in.⁵ So I'm going to shed my 20-something slacker veneer for the glossy undercoating of a Determined and Successful Member of Society Who Happens To Be Over Thirty. I'll still be the same lovable bum that I've always been. Just not on the clock.⁶

Anyway, on to The Random:

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The Chicago Cubs are doing their damnedest to keep me from getting excited about what has the potential, at least on paper, to be The Best Chicago National League Team in my Lifetime.⁷ As detailed elsewhere by people better at writing about the Cubs than I'll ever be, their bench has the potential to break my heart on any given day. Other than, of course, Daryle Ward, who is made entirely of pure concentrated good (like Dick Miller). He's like the McRib in human form⁸

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I spent my entire lunch break sitting alone at a conference table with a co-worker's Giant Birthday Cookie⁹ and a plastic knife sitting in front of me. Long story short: I will need to buy new work pants this week.

Impulse control is overrated.

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I am officially tired of the cliched storytelling trope (especially in comic books) of "the vampire that hunts other vampires." It's been done. What I'd like to see is a Frankenstein that hunts other Frankensteins.¹⁰

On the moon.

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I've heard a few clean limericks in my day, but I've never read a dirty haiku.

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I was really looking forward to seeing Carbon/Silicon on Monday, but the show was cancelled. I didn't cry over it, but I was really annoyed for some time. Still waiting for the theiving swine at ticketmaster to refund my money for that. It takes them SEVEN TO TEN days to do this, and they have the nerve to make their processing fee non-refundable? If I can transfer funds from savings to checking in less than 30 seconds at my bank, you'd think they could pay me back for providing me with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING without my having to wait practically a fortnight.

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I received a letter for Oprah Winfrey (or, more specifically "Ms. Oprah") today at work. The false rumor that she lives in the building where I work at has apparently made it all the way to Mississippi. I returned it to sender.¹¹ It was labelled "Open, Very Important" and "Open as soon as possible." I sure hope it wasn't Ms. Oprah's prescription or anything. Because that would be unfortunate.

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Thank you for stopping by The Slog.

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1. Not counting this one.
2. Not just for New Years anymore.
3. Heathen would be nice to have.
4. I don't have ANY Fourth World stuff now, for those people planning for my 32^nd birthday (June 5^th). I'm just saying.
5. Although, for the right salary, I'll learn to believe in anything. Except cilantro. Never cilantro.
6. Unless someone wants to pay me in the high five figures to do this for a living (on the off chance an eccentric billionaire reads this).
7. Not saying much. Sort of like being the Funniest Wayans Brother or the Most Sober Pogue.
8. In more ways than one (ZING! Daryle Ward, you've been Slogged!^TM).
9. Save your money and get me Kirby, folks. Just saying...
10. I know, Frankenstein's the Doctor, not the Monster. Pointing it out doesn't make you any smarter, pal.
11. I thought about opening it and reading it, but that's not how I roll.